Amazing lady, quick with a smile, sensitive questions, quiet observations, and wry lines of humor – especially at Christmas. She was a teacher. Born in 1911, life was not easy, but never slowed her. Examples of peace surround us – worth noticing at Christmas.

One of four children, her relatives came from America’s earliest days, Mayflower, more than a hundred in the Revolutionary War, two dozen buried at Arlington, including her two brothers.

She worked hard, valedictorian of her high school class. When girls did not go to college, she got to Vasser, married the love of her life, and got a half dozen Christmases with him – before she lost him.

You know how windows and doors and God works, right? Her husband, gone too soon, left her two daughters. She cherished them while caring for aging parents.

Of necessity, she learned to drive, got a job, became an elementary school teacher, quick to smile – always quick to smile. The American Dream is not always as we imagine. She became a principal – the only female principal in the state.

The funny thing about life, it keeps coming, like it or not. Her uncle – the brother of her father – always sent the family two pheasants at Christmas, and Christmas dinner, plus enough money for little gifts on the table. Even in mid-World War II, he did that. She counted on the pheasants and gifts, as did her kids.

On came Father Time. Her siblings now had kids. Before, during, and after World War II, even mid- Great Depression, cousins would gather at Christmas. Twenty-two stockings “were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there.”  He never missed.

Her smile taught them all to be grateful – and everyone smiled Christmas morning: her two daughters, no father but a loving mother, grandparents, cousins, nieces, and nephews. By all accounts, the Christmas feast was the seminal event of their year.

That old-time thing … Unexpectedly, her vibrant sister died. Now three more little girls, beyond her own two, needed care, so she was there. Where does time go? This wonderful lady, who questioned if she could go on after losing her husband, smiled and hosted Christmas on Christmas.

Soon, somehow, retirement was upon her. Her girls were all grown, children of their own, she gave herself to others, still finding ways to teach, reasons to flash her hallmark smile, as if to say, “Hey, life goes on, it has to, so stay with it, stay part of it, lean into it, love your neighbors, and celebrate each day.” That was her way.

Christmas after Christmas, even crippled, she made her way through the Maine snow – you could see her, a grandchild on either side, bundled up on Christmas Eve, braving the elements, the next day going where she needed to go, smiling.

So, here is the thing. We have examples around us of love and courage, earnest souls who ask little and give all they have – whatever that is. We get the chance at Christmas to slow down, to notice, to to let them know – that we know.

This Christmas, in the hubbub and laughter, joy and reflection, faith and gratitude, look around and maybe try to notice those content to be unnoticed, who have seen a lot, whether we know it or not. They smile for us, for The Other, just like my grandmother.

Merry Christmas! Fill it with love, laughter, and smiles galore, recalling when He closes a window, He opens a door.  

Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, attorney, and naval intelligence officer (USNR). He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (2018), and is National Spokesman for AMAC.