Recently, at a “celebration of life” for a friend, a top official spoke about my friend. He had hired him years ago, yet my friend became his mentor. How? Humility, calm, advising wisely and guiding gently, knowing – as the official said – “Team has no ‘I’ in it.” Like Jimmy Stewart, one life touches so many others.
Many of the best things in life, the ones with impact, are delivered by “teams” – and the best teams are composed of selfless, mission-focused individuals, confident, motivated, and determined. They synchronize and prioritize each other.
If that sounds trite, it is not. Today, the concept of “team” is too often left untaught, forgotten in the hubbub, many caught in the frenzy of being a social media “influencer,” podcast legend, making a million fast, getting credit for everything – and with as little effort as possible.
Good teams are never built on that stuff. Think in simple terms. At this moment, I sit waiting for a flight home. To get there, we need a pilot. We also need focused machinists, cross-checkers of operations, ailerons, flaps, rudder, vertical and horizontal stabilizers, people who know their jobs and respect each other for that.
We need those focused on refueling, putting air in tires, cleaning and replenishing, those who will check the weather, handle baggage, and ensure safety. Each person is invaluable on a good team, and knows it. Planes do not fly without air in the tires, no matter how good the pilot.
Closer to home, those who coordinate anything, from business to school or training center, those who make a restaurant work, design boats at Bath Iron Works, or assure the safety of your money are entrusted to serve, not promote themselves.
Sometimes – as in government, aviation, or education – failure affects more than the “team” and those entrusted to act selflessly, with integrity, part of the “team.”
What my friend did, what made him the mentor of his boss, was not his brilliance, sense of humor, or innate calm–all legendary–but something far simpler.
He was humble, centered on fixing what needed fixing, doing his job well, and he appreciated – let all know – those he worked with. He modeled team play.
He would seldom correct someone publicly, even when rethinking was needed. He did not hurry what took time, was prepared for contingencies. He gave people time to correct errors, so they owned the lesson, could teach it. That is team play.
He was humble in other ways, patient in a world reflexively not so, unjudging in a world fast to condemn. He was hard to ruffle, filled with integrity and energy. Team leaders remind us of all that is possible, inspire us to reach higher.
As on other occasions, but profoundly on this one, I was reminded of Rudyard Kipling’s poem “If,” which celebrates the qualities in a good man and team leader.
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
“If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
“If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same …”
It ends “… you will be a man, my son.” The best teams turn on great leaders. If that official was mentored by my friend, he mentored us all. One life touches so many, as Jimmy Stewart reminded us. He touched mine, profoundly. So, we celebrated a man of kindness, humility, heart, and smarts. But in the end, he defined the word “friend.”
Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, Maine attorney, ten-year naval intelligence officer (USNR), and 25-year businessman. He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (North Country Press, 2018), and “Cherish America: Stories of Courage, Character, and Kindness” (Tower Publishing, 2024). He is the National Spokesman for AMAC. Today, he is running to be Maine’s next Governor (please visit BobbyforMaine.com to learn more)!
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