A deputy’s department-issued Sig Sauer P320 found its way into the hands of a convicted felon last week when it was left behind in a restroom stall at the RaceTrac convenience store in Oviedo, Florida, 20 miles northeast of Orlando. Stopping to answer nature’s call at around 5:30 p.m. on a Thursday, the Florida cop shed layers of his gear, including a bulletproof vest and gun belt, before taking the proverbial throne. 

An affidavit reports that the gun slipped unnoticed from his holster at some point during the deed, and it was only after departing to a call that the deputy discovered his firearm was missing, prompting him to rush back to the store as if to handle unfinished business.

“After leaving the RaceTrac and responding to a call for service, (the deputy) discovered his gun was missing from his gun belt, so he returned to the RaceTrac to check the restroom…He did not see it in the restroom,” said officials. 

Sometime between the fateful pit stop and not-so-triumphant return to the scene of the crime, Chance Byron, 26, and violent felon on probation, Damari Dennis, 23, decided to pick something up where the deputy had left it behind. Investigators say that Byron and Dennis later admitted to seeing the deputy’s gun inside the stall “sticking out of the toilet paper roll.”

You really have three choices in a situation like his:

1. Do the right thing and report it to the store and the authorities immediately. 
2. Take it. Finders keepers. 
3. Leave it there. It’s someone else’s problem. 

With a level of consistency only attributable to a story as nutty as this, let’s just say that the unfortunate Seminole County deputy wasn’t the only party to choose number two that day. 

Officials say that surveillance video revealed Chance Byron and Damari Dennis walked out of the store with one of the young men having a “noticeable bulge showing on the right side of his waist,” ironically exiting the encounter heavier than when he came. 

A license search led deputies to sniff out the suspects who were arrested in their homes in Orlando on Friday and charged with grand theft of a firearm, failure to report lost or abandoned property and dealing in stolen goods, allegedly selling the $600 handgun for $40 via CashApp. In addition, Damari Dennis, who has been on probation since April with the Florida Department of Corrections, was charged with felon in possession of a weapon, according to investigators. 

Officials say that both men admitted they did not attempt to contact law enforcement or inform the employees of the gas station about their stolen bathroom treasure before seemingly turning on one another, with Dennis telling police he “didn’t want to touch it because he was on probation” while Byron told officers that Dennis pointed out the weapon to him before picking it up. Surveillance video, however, revealed that it was Byron who exited the restroom with the bulge in his waist and his right arm pressed against his side.

Byron’s bail is set at $20,000 for dealing in stolen property and grand larceny of a firearm. Dennis is facing the same $20,000 bail with an additional $15,000 tacked on for possession of a weapon by a convicted felon. Both men are due in court Oct. 8.

One arrest affidavit notes the as-yet-unnamed deputy was making a call on his cellphone when the thief “possibly reached under the stall and removed his firearm from his gun belt without him seeing it happen,” however, security footage shows the deputy had left the gas station prior to Byron and Dennis’s arrival. The deputy is expected to face a disciplinary investigation by the department’s professional standards division.

The sheriff’s office told McClatchy News, “The firearm has since been recovered.”

All parties stepped in it, and they may collectively have to take a bite of the same proverbial sandwich. Fecal humor aside, there are lessons to be learned here. First, when you’re responsible for a firearm, there are no rest breaks. Second, don’t take things that don’t belong to you. We all learned that early on, well, most of us. Third, always report an abandoned firearm immediately to the authorities, and whenever possible, wait for them to arrive and do not touch it. Fourth, it’s always better, if you can, to wait until you’re home. Lastly, never pick things up that others leave behind in a public restroom. That’s just gross. Thanks. I’ll be here all week.