Moving from the battlefield to the instructor’s podium—and living with anxiety and depression—brought with it extra weight for Pierre Anthony, 42, now a retired veteran in San Diego. When he found Pure Barre workouts, he gained balance and lost 37 pounds. In his own words, here’s his story:
I began my military service with the Army National Guard (11th grade year) in high school. After graduation, and after a request to my Brigade Commander, I was allowed to transition to the Marine Corps. In late 2004, I found my passion when I found the Explosive Ordnance Disposal Community (EOD).
I was in EOD school by Jan. 2005, and that’s when the hardships with PTSD began. At that time, the demand for EOD services on the battlefield was intense so we all knew we were heading to war after graduation. Furthermore, each casualty ripped through the entire school like blast waves from actual IEDs. The EOD Memorial, which memorializes every fallen EOD Technician since America’s inception of EOD, is located at the front of the school. The school itself boasted a 51 percent student attrition rate; you have to receive 85 percent or higher to earn a passing test grade; and no material could be taken to or from school. The stress was all inclusive.
Seeing the future when it’s not pretty
By the time I graduated in April 2006, I felt there was no doubt about the chances of dying or becoming an amputee. To cope, I used to stop paying all of my bills about three months before each deployment. I figured that if I was going to face death, I should party sufficiently and leave my debt with “the man.” I also knew that if I became an amputee, I would get a lump sum payment from military injury insurance, so I was covered on that front as well. In reality, I made it through each deployment, so about five months in I would call my creditors and square my debts. And that’s just the light stuff.
I deployed back-to-back-to-back-to-back- in 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2010-2011. During that time, my weight stayed between 225 and 240 pounds. Exercise has always been a staple of the military paradigm. So at that time, I favored a heavily muscled disposition that was fit for kicking ass and taking names.
Upon return from the final trip in 2011, I was selected to work at the Advanced Improvised Explosive Disposal Defeat School. The transition from the battlefield to the instructor’s podium became replete with extra body fat. I slowly let the weight pile on and my health dwindled away until I was forced to face reality during retirement in April of 2020 when I weighed 260 pounds. I’ve always been a fiend for sweets, avoided grocery shopping and ate out a lot. Anxiety and depression were the extra contributors.
Stepping up to the Barre
I found the need to reinvent myself. I started with running around September 2020. I was still dealing with PTSD. A myriad of stresses and traumas are occupational hazards for EOD technicians, since we work with explosives. That contributes to PTSD and Traumatic Brain Injuries. In fact, EOD vets lead the Department of Veterans Affairs in suicides, so the struggle can be very real.
I’m fortunate enough to live above a Pure Barre Studio in East Village Downtown San Diego. The close proximity and open windows allowed me to peer in and check out the activities. I must admit that I was initially intimidated upon discovering that it’s predominantly women who occupy the Pure Barre space. Over the course of two years, I worked up the courage (translation: asked a homie to tag along) to attend a class and it’s been all love ever since.
The Pure Barre family of workouts fuses standard workout models such as yoga, resistance training, calisthenics, weight training, etc. with improved central nervous system alignment and focused breath control. Throw in the mediation-style cadence and leadership from the instructors, and I transitioned from a knuckle-dragging meathead to a more balanced, composed, and oriented person who boasts decreased knee and back pain as a consequence of strengthened hips and abs.
Because I’m a person who manages his disabilities without the assistance of pharmaceuticals, it’s important that I dedicate a significant amount of each day’s time to self-management. I have not been comfortable enough to find myself in the sphere of races or events too much. When outside, I simply cannot stop signaling on things that remind me of bomb components–which is mentally exhausting among other things–so I spend most of my time indoors and alone. The goals that I have are simply to manage myself correctly enough on the daily to accumulate wins over time. Slow and flow. Pure Barre helps with that. I’ve lost 37 pounds, in addition to gaining all the other mental and physical benefits from the practice.
Changing my relationship with food
I also turned to food fully as part of my medical, mental, and healing journey. I found that I could use the knowledge of proteins, vegetables, fruits, herbs, and spices (and their medicinal components and attributes) to corral some of the effects of PTSD and TBI. I also discovered that the discipline that it takes to process and cook raw food on the daily could be a meditative retreat.
Years of therapy has coached me to understand that any process can be reconditioned, it just takes a helluva lotta time and dedication. I figured that I could eventually reassociate the anxiety and stress of outside with the positive outcomes of food shopping. It’s all a process, but it’s going well–and overall, I feel positive about the future.
Emily Shiffer is a freelance health and wellness writer living in Pennsylvania.
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